I Broke My Ass

It was almost perfect.

I was thisclose to having an absolutely perfect labor, delivery, and postpartum experience.

*sigh*

It turns out that, on her way into this world, Miss Nora broke my ass. In other words, her little head--when it was coming down through my pelvis at lightning speed--fractured my tailbone.

I just have one word for it, really: Ouchie.

So now I am the weirdo carrying around a special ass pillow wherever I go. I just bought it today, and now I can't imagine trying to sit without it.

Without going into tremendous detail, my postpartum recovery has been pretty easy. Except for this tailbone business.

Following Nora's birth, my first complaint was about pain in my tailbone area. When the nurses made me lift my hips up off the bed to change the padding underneath me, or when I got up out of bed, I was struck by a lot of pain in my tailbone. I told them as much, and they said that a lot of pressure is put on the tailbone when you push a baby out, and because Nora came out so quickly, they said that I probably bruised it.

Throughout my time in the hospital, every time they asked me about my pain, I always mentioned the tailbone. I really didn't experience much discomfort where you'd think you'd have discomfort after a baby, despite suffering from a tear. (And no, I don't know the 'degree' of my tear. I don't know anything about it, except that I had stitches, and that it took a while for the doctors to do them. When I gently inquired about it, asking "Is it bad?" the doctor looked at me and simply said, "Um... she tore you." He didn't elaborate, and I took that to mean I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.)

The funny thing is that the entire time I was in the hospital, when the nurses would come in to do my vitals, they would always ask, "How would you rate your pain?" (on a scale of 1 to 10). The first few times they asked, I laughed so hard, because childbirth had just handed me the WORST pain I had ever felt in my life. To ask a woman to rate some simple soreness after THAT is just crazy.

Anyway, I never had an ice pack. I never needed Tucks pads. I barely used my peri bottle. I didn't have any trouble or pain from going to the bathroom. I was all good, except for the stinkin' tailbone pain.

Even so, things seemed to get better as I recovered in the hospital, and in the first few days we were home. But then the discomfort in my tailbone came back with a vengeance, so I called my doctor's office as Nora was about to turn 1 week old. I said that my tailbone pain was still pretty significant, and didn't seem to be getting better. The nurse said that a bruised coccyx can take some time to improve, told me to keep taking ibuprofen, and said that I should avoid sitting on it. Because yeah. THAT's easy to do. Especially when you have a newborn baby that needs to nurse every few hours. Ugh.

Then, last week, I started to feel a "clicking" when I'd sit down or shift my weight while sitting. Like I can feel the bone moving in there. Ewwww. It was then that I became convinced that my tailbone is officially fractured. The clicking is accompanied by some pretty intense pain shooting through the area. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

The continued pain (with no improvement) + clicking = broken tailbone. I was sort of hoping that my doctor would insist on an x-ray just so I could have photographic proof of my broken ass (I mean, come on... that's one for the baby book!), but alas, there is nothing that can really be done for a broken coccyx, so it's pretty pointless to x-ray.

I talked to my doctor's office again today and they recommended getting a coccyx pillow to help ease the pressure on the bone while I'm sitting. I had to make a special trip to a medical supply store to get one, but $15.50 later, I AM SO GLAD I DID.

My doctor said that I should expect my tailbone to be healed by the time of my postpartum appointment (six weeks after the birth, so a little less than four weeks from now). Thank goodness.

If, for some reason, it's not healed after six weeks, I will be referred to an orthopedic specialist.

FOR MY ASS.

Dude. Let's hope that's not necessary.