Unsettled
Sunday, August 14, 2011
We finally got into our new house on Friday evening.
And after working tirelessly the entire weekend, trying to do as much as possible in too short a period of time, we are back in our condo for one more week. And instead of being ridiculously excited about it all, I am feeling...
...unsettled.
I am sore. From the muscles in my head and neck, all the way down to my toes. Carpet ripping, wallpaper stripping, ceiling painting, paint rolling and cutting in... it's exhausting. All of that work, and we still have MILES to go. In all reality, the house is nowhere near ready to move in. But we sort of have to, given that we can't get much done until we do. The issue we have is that Nora's bedtime is so early that we can't get over to the house to do anything during the week. And to become strictly weekend warriors would mean that it would take FOREVER for us to finish everything. At least, if we're living there, we'll be able to do things like painting after Nora is in bed each night.
So, this week, we're preparing to pick up and move from a perfectly good, remodeled, clean, lovely little condo into a bigger, creaky, messy, torn apart house. We're leaving "home" for... not home. It just feels like it's going to take forever to make this new place ours.
Is it normal to feel like this? For months, we've been discussing the thousands of reasons why it is such a good thing that we are moving. We've talked about the hundreds of things that we will not miss.
Now, I find myself feeling incredibly sad about leaving. I am feeling nostalgic, and catch myself thinking things like, "This is our last Sunday night in this condo. We will never again enjoy a weekend here." I think about how this is the only home that Nora has ever known, how she's comfortable here and knows it's her house. And how we'll be taking her away from it forever. AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY. I swear, tears are welling up in my eyes as I type it this very minute.
Adding to the unsettling feelings is the fact that we still do not have a resolution for the condo. Still no word from the (seemingly promising) buyers who came through the past few weeks, so we're assuming nothing is going to happen there. And now the tenant who we thought was a sure thing is being a little wishy-washy with us, so we're not feeling very confident about that, either.
So, I prepare to pack. To leave comfort and head to a place that still feels like someone else's house.
I hope it's going to start feeling like home soon.
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11 comments:
Of course I haven't experienced this (i.e., a move with a baby), but I am almost certain that your feelings are normal. It's a big change for y'all, but one that I know you and M have discussed at length and concluded that it's the best thing for your growing family. Is there any way the grandparents can come over a night or two and 'watch' Nora while y'all get stuff done at the new house?
Thinking of you and fam as you continue on this exciting (and exhausting) new stage in your lives.
~Kristen M.
We lived in our apartment 3 years before moving into our house. I was really sad to leave our apartment. That is the place where we celebrated our engagement, planned our wedding and came home from our honeymoon. It holds special meaning so I know how you feel.
AND....we ripped up carpet and then found leaking windows in our house so we lived in cement floors for 5 weeks. BRUTAL. I said we were going with the industrial style look. Eventually, everything comes together. I promise!
Nora will be fine. Think of all the good things she will get out of moving.
Aww, it's bound to not feel like home... it's so much bigger than you are used to, it's daunting... it feels like someone else's house... it's all natural! We didn't have any work to do to our house, so I can only imagine that having that on top of everything else makes it worse. But just think: all the work you are doing will mean it will be exactly how you want it, that's got to be a great thing! And as for Nora, THIS will be her childhood home - isn't that exciting? Wishing you lots of luck and courage over the next few weeks! :)
I haven't moved to a second "for real" home yet (university moves don't count I say) but my parents recently moved from the house I grew up in (they moved there when I was about Nora's age) out of town to a new house last year. I was sad. I cried. But I was really surprised just how fast the new house felt like home. It's truly not the space - it's the people. Happy moving week!
I totally get this! My son is a few weeks younger than Nora. At the end of May, we packed up our house in Indiana and moved across the country to MA. We spent a week in transit and then 8 or so weeks in a short term apartment and area finally in our house (as of two weeks ago) but it doesn't really feel like home yet. We have a new house so different issues than you, but it still doesn't really feel like home. Little by little though, we are putting our stamp on it.
I remember walking through the old house after everything was packed up and carrying the baby through each room telling him, this is our last time in your first room, or our last time in your first house. It was so bittersweet. Now looking forward to making new memories in our new house (like his first birthday, first christmas where he opens presents, etc.)
Also, I totally get it on not being able to get settled as quickly when there is a baby in the mix. It is hard to do anything during the week and on weekends it is kind of tough too, between his 2-3 naps and just wanting to hang out with him. I feel like this move is taking soooo much longer than the last time we did!
For me, it never feels like "home" until I've spent the night there in my bed. Remember though, home is what you make of it...everything else is just aesthetics. Good luck!
I think moving always feels like that. But having kids makes everything harder. Everything takes longer, goes slower, has to be done as quickly as possibly, but never will be done quickly at all. It's hard.
Give yourself a month or two, both to get stuff done and to make the transition. Do the rooms that you can't live without first - Nora's room, the kitchen, etc. Once those are done you'll feel better.
Good luck and hugs.
I've moved so many times in my life, I know exactly how you're feeling. And I always have that thought in the back of my head "this is the last time..."
The only thing that has gotten me through it is know that there are going to be "first times" in the new place.
Nora will celebrate her first birthday in her first new home. That's a really great thing to look forward too. She will take her first steps there, say mama for the first time there and so much more. I'll feel like home in no time.
Good luck with all of the remodeling!
*it'll feel like home...no I'll sorry lol
It is very normal to feel sad and uneasy and like the new place isn't home. We bought our house a year ago and only just recently has it actually started to feel like our place. Add as many personal touches as early as you can, that will help. Hang family photos on the walls, make your bedroom and nursery into cozy, comfortable retreats. Unpack your kitchen and stock your fridge so that you can cook wonderful meals. Those types of touches are things that make a house a home and can make you feel more comfortable. All of the other projects can be done with time.
Hang in there!
-Jess (from metro Detroit)
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