Arachnophobia

This morning was a normal morning. I left the house, dropped Nora off at daycare, and was making my merry way to work. (Well, I was as merry as one can be when heading into a full day of work on a Wednesday morning. You know.)

I was about three quarters of a mile from my office when, out of nowhere, something moving across my dashboard caught my eye.

It was a big, BLACK, disgusting SPIDER.

OK, so it wasn't so much big as it was disgusting. Totally disgusting. But, despite its overall petite size, it was... thick. Crunchy, if you will. It had a thick black body and thick black legs. In other words, it wasn't your normal, everyday, wimpy ol' spider.

As it walked across my dashboard, coming uncomfortably close to me and then moving back toward the windshield (repeatedly. The thing did this multiple times, as if to taunt me), I tried my best to keep my eyes on the road. I was very close to work, so my main goal was just to get myself in the parking lot without hitting anyone or anything.

Meanwhile, I literally started shaking from the heebie jeebies. That's how gross this thing was... it gave me goosebumps. And, while I fully admit to being a huge baby when it comes to dealing with insects, I'm not usually THAT big of a baby. This thing was just particularly nasty; it was like a miniature version of a tarantula!

Upon throwing my car into park, I quickly shut off the engine and jumped out of my car, keeping my eyes on the spider at all times. I frantically searched my car for something, ANYTHING with which I could squash this thing. Finding nothing appropriate, I started scanning the parking lot. Not for tools of death, but for MEN. I just needed A MAN. Any man from my office would do. However, as luck would have it, the parking lot was completely void of human life.

MOTHER EFFER.

By this time, the spider had curled into a little ball of ewww and seemed to be hibernating in the tiny corner between my dashboard and windshield. After observing him for what seemed like a couple of minutes and seeing no movement, I made the decision to run into my office for reinforcements.

My teammate (and cubicle neighbor) was my chosen rescuer. Poor guy. He was a good sport and, after grabbing half a roll of paper towels from the kitchen, immediately put on his coat and followed me out into the snow to take care of the situation.

Imagine my horror when we arrived at my car to find that THE SPIDER WAS GONE.

OHHH.EM.GEEEE.

That little bastard was nowhere to be found.

So, the bottom line: That disgusting creature lives to see another day, and me? Well, I'm pretty sure I will never be able to drive my car again. Never ever.

*shudder*