Wednesday, March 23, 2011

This morning was a normal morning. I left the house, dropped Nora off at daycare, and was making my merry way to work. (Well, I was as merry as one can be when heading into a full day of work on a Wednesday morning. You know.)

I was about three quarters of a mile from my office when, out of nowhere, something moving across my dashboard caught my eye.

It was a big, BLACK, disgusting SPIDER.

OK, so it wasn't so much big as it was disgusting. Totally disgusting. But, despite its overall petite size, it was... thick. Crunchy, if you will. It had a thick black body and thick black legs. In other words, it wasn't your normal, everyday, wimpy ol' spider.

As it walked across my dashboard, coming uncomfortably close to me and then moving back toward the windshield (repeatedly. The thing did this multiple times, as if to taunt me), I tried my best to keep my eyes on the road. I was very close to work, so my main goal was just to get myself in the parking lot without hitting anyone or anything.

Meanwhile, I literally started shaking from the heebie jeebies. That's how gross this thing was... it gave me goosebumps. And, while I fully admit to being a huge baby when it comes to dealing with insects, I'm not usually THAT big of a baby. This thing was just particularly nasty; it was like a miniature version of a tarantula!

Upon throwing my car into park, I quickly shut off the engine and jumped out of my car, keeping my eyes on the spider at all times. I frantically searched my car for something, ANYTHING with which I could squash this thing. Finding nothing appropriate, I started scanning the parking lot. Not for tools of death, but for MEN. I just needed A MAN. Any man from my office would do. However, as luck would have it, the parking lot was completely void of human life.


By this time, the spider had curled into a little ball of ewww and seemed to be hibernating in the tiny corner between my dashboard and windshield. After observing him for what seemed like a couple of minutes and seeing no movement, I made the decision to run into my office for reinforcements.

My teammate (and cubicle neighbor) was my chosen rescuer. Poor guy. He was a good sport and, after grabbing half a roll of paper towels from the kitchen, immediately put on his coat and followed me out into the snow to take care of the situation.

Imagine my horror when we arrived at my car to find that THE SPIDER WAS GONE.


That little bastard was nowhere to be found.

So, the bottom line: That disgusting creature lives to see another day, and me? Well, I'm pretty sure I will never be able to drive my car again. Never ever.



Lauren March 23, 2011 at 9:27 PM  

EW, EW, EW. That is so gross. Good for you to be able to finish driving to work! I'm not sure that I'd be able to! Wasn't there something in the news recently where they recalled a car because it attracted these spiders that lived inside it? Seriously, I'd switch cars with your H for tomorrow LOL!

Clint & Alicia McLaws March 23, 2011 at 9:41 PM  

EWWWWWWW!!!!! I am TERRIBLY arachnaphobic. Oh. Em. Gee! I applaud you for being able to finish the drive. Because, well....I could not. I would have burst into tears and probably veared off the road. Overeaction? Maybe. But they're the ONE thing that I am beyond terrified of.

nikinikinine March 23, 2011 at 10:19 PM  




Anonymous,  March 23, 2011 at 10:44 PM  

Like I said on Twitter, NEW CAR TIME. I share your phobia. GROSS GROSS GROSS!!!!


Anonymous,  March 24, 2011 at 3:40 AM  

OMIGOD! i am a total scaredy cat when it comes to spiders and insects! One of the best feelings in the world is the satisfaction after you've killed it. But the worse feeling is when they get away...I just have a feeling that I'm going to run into it again, or that its going to lay more spider eggs, then i'll have a bunch of spiders to deal with...AHHHH! >.<

Amy March 24, 2011 at 9:01 AM  

Oh, Heather. I TOTALLY feel your pain. We live near a lake and there are spiders everywhere- big ones like you saw. One built a nest in the sideview mirror of my car and they would creep in the vents. I found them while driving MANY times and nearly got in car accidents from fright. The worst surprise I got was when one crawled out on the rear view mirror as I was driving and then jumped down onto the seat. HORROR!

elizabethashleyphoto March 24, 2011 at 9:07 AM  

Ugh, horrifying! I just love your stories, I felt like I was right there in the car with you, ha!

I had something similar happen a couple years ago but with a huge flying ROACH! It fell out of the top of my car door when I got out to get the mail at the front of our apartment complex, then it disappeared under the seat. I called my husband to drive up to the front of the complex and help me find it and kill it before I would get back in and drive my car to our apartment. Seems silly now, but I was like terrified at the time!

Eric's Mommy March 24, 2011 at 9:47 AM  

Oh God, I have goosebumps! I am the biggest baby when it comes to spiders, only spiders. My Husband gets so mad at me because he thinks they are harmless, I know better. I think you need to burn your car.

Michelle March 24, 2011 at 12:19 PM  

My husband was driving to work one day and noticed a spider (not huge but he isn't a fan of them of any size) on his visor. He said he tried really hard not to freak out since he was driving but he was so scared that the spider was going to drop down right on his face!
I hate all bugs and have a hard time even killing them because it means I have to get close to them but I know that is better than when they disappear into a crack and I know that they are out there but can't be seen!!

Lynsey Kaye March 24, 2011 at 5:31 PM  

Ewww. This entire post freaks me out. The comments are even worse. I have SO scared of spiders. I had to kill them too. So if my husband is not around and my dog won't mess with it - then I am screwed.

I actually scrolled very very slowly in google reader because I was worried there would be a picture of said spider.

There is a good chance I will now have a nightmare, or even a night terror, because of this post and the comments. LOL. It's THAT bad for me.

Heather March 24, 2011 at 10:56 PM  

I posted this expecting to get comments about how stupid I am; instead, all you people have done is completely validated me. HA! :)

So, get this: When I was driving into work this morning, there was really bright sunshine, and I could see COBWEBS on my dashboard/windshield. I don't know whether they are from BEFORE I spotted the mother-effer or if they are *shudder* NEW.

Then, when I got back into my car to drive home tonight, I spotted another little section of cobwebs near my driver-side door. I am trying to convince myself that they could be old, but OMG WHAT IF THEY ARE NEW. That disgusting black insect could be taking up permanent residence in my car.

Ew. Ew. EWWW!

I almost wish he would pop up on my dashboard again so that I can stop feeling like things are crawling all over me whenever I'm driving.


P.S. Anonymous--Way to FREAK ME THE EFF OUT. I never even thought of the possibility of EGGS. Holy hell!

Anonymous,  March 25, 2011 at 2:11 PM  

Heather, sorry for freaking you out more about the whole "EGGS"...I let my imagination run and get the better of me. LOL Its a good thing you finally got rid of that spider! I could only imagine little Nora looking at you freak out, not knowing what in the heck you were doing.

The names Annie, by the way :)


Anonymous,  March 27, 2011 at 10:25 PM  

I hate spiders! I do the same thing. If it makes you feel better I'm a teacher. Once there was a HUGE ugly black spider & I freaked out so bad in front of my class of 5th graders, I had to have a boy volunteer to kill the thing! They still tease me about it!

Love the blog BTW, have been reading it for ages! Your recipes are always awesome :)


Wishing on stars April 19, 2011 at 1:48 AM  

oh god oh god oh god I HATE HATE HATE spiders!!! I was also scrolling down soooooo slowly because I was terrified that there would be a picture of a nasty spider. ugh. I've noticed little stings of webs in my car too.

One day a few months ago a spider came down the visor on my passenger side where my husband was sitting. I was freaking out while driving. lol I remember I kept hitting the breaks and smacking his leg telling him to get rid of it. I would rather have hit another car freaking out than having it in there lol

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