Monday, March 12, 2012

There have been many occasions during which I have entertained thoughts of giving up this blog--or, more accurately, making it private. After all, I never set out to become an actual "blogger."

I started a blog in 2007 about my wedding projects, never expecting anyone to ever READ the thing. I directed people to it when they wanted instructions for painted aisle runners or DIY pocketfold invitations. But people came, and then they... stayed. Naturally, I started infusing pieces of my life into my writing as well. It wasn't just about the wedding planning anymore--the blog was about my life. At that time, I just so happened to be a bride-to-be. And then I was married, and wasn't sure what form the blog would take.

It became Heather Drive--and the hobbies I shared became cooking, baking, decorating cakes, and photography. I got pregnant, and it only seemed natural to share that experience, and then lean on the community I (somehow!) built as I waded through the first year of motherhood.

For the most part, blogging has been a wonderful thing for me. Even as readership has grown, and comments come in, and Facebook "fans" sign on--I always try to take a step back in order to not lose sight of why I have chosen to do this.

It is, in large part, a journal. Sure, it's not as intimate as it would be if it were read only by me, but the main reason for blogging--the reason I have continuously pushed myself to keep writing, even when it seems like I don't possibly have the time--is to document my life for myself. For my husband. For my kids (someday). Michael and I like to go back and look at old posts. See the specifics about where we ate and what we saw on our honeymoon. Recollect what my pregnant belly looked like at 28 weeks. Look back and see what Nora was up to at three months old.

As much as I love all most of you, and the help, guidance, encouragement, and friendship you have offered through your comments over the years--let's make no mistake that the primary reason I have this here blog is for me. Of course, I feel a little pressure to post things that I think others will enjoy reading, but I try not to let that dictate how and what I write. Some posts garner feedback through comments. Others don't. I'm OK with that.

Occasionally, I post something controversial--about breaking Tom Brady's knees, or hating Twilight, or abortion, or (gasp!) politics. And with those posts come heated comments. Some are seething, but most are respectful, just posted in disagreement with me. In those cases, discussing those topics, it is expected--and welcomed!--for people to disagree with me. Although it's rare for it to happen, I've even tolerated some blatant criticism of who I am as a person. I've never contemplated giving up my blog for comments like those.

So imagine my surprise with myself, then, as I am actually considering abandoning ship over Snooki. Freaking Snooki, you guys.

When I reposted that stupid Snooki joke last week, it was literally a split second decision. I saw it on Facebook and almost reposted it there, but since it had been shared so many times in my feed, I figured I'd throw it up over here instead. It made me laugh out loud for a moment in the middle of a difficult week, so I thought it might cause the same reaction for some of you readers. It wasn't something I put a lot of thought into, wasn't something that I anticipated would ignite discussion (and it didn't--at least not at the time).

But then I woke up this morning to a nasty comment on the Snooki post. Not only did this person disagree with the joke--they compared Snooki's fame and subsequent (presumed, mind you) placement of her baby in the public spotlight to my sharing photos of and stories about my daughter on this blog.

Well, hell. Someone was out to hit where it hurt.

Of course, all of this was posted under "anonymous" (isn't it always?) and I have no idea who it is. Is it someone I know in real life? Is it a regular commenter that I "know"? Or is it someone who has (until now) sat silent, quietly judging me, waiting for the right moment to strike?

Regardless, I have to admit that this comment makes me feel uneasy. I would be lying if I said I haven't gone into the setup of this blog and changed it to "private" three times since this morning. Every time, I've canceled the changes, not wanting to make rash decisions.

But, I'm thinking. I'm thinking about why I do this. Do the pros of keeping the blog public outweigh the cons? I appreciate all of the readers and comments I've had over the years, and I've found value in all of it. But I am definitely sensitive to the fact that it's not just about me anymore. I have a family to be mindful of. I share a few photos every couple of weeks. There might be a post here or there focusing on Nora--but usually, those relate to my parenting of her, and are done in a way that I don't think could ever be accused of "airing it all out" so that it would be embarrassing to her in the future.

I thought I was striking a good balance between what to share and what to keep private--but perhaps I need to reconsider altogether.


Michelle March 12, 2012 at 12:18 PM  

I'm sorry this random person was so mean! I still can't believe that Snooki has defenders and I would ask that anonymous commenter turn down their sensitivity knob. It is a joke!

Whatever you decide, I'm sure your readers will support you. Do what is best for you and your family. :)

ChroniclesKatie March 12, 2012 at 12:27 PM  

The internet is unfortunately filled with people who are going to be nasty for no other reason than they can. It's also filled with people who use anonymity and zero accountability as an excuse to say things they would never dream of saying to someone IRL. All you can do is take them for what they are and shrug them off.

Personally, I love your blog and I hope you keep it going...but in the end, you have to do what you feel is best for you and your family.

Deanna March 12, 2012 at 12:29 PM  


I have been reading your blog when you were a bride to be, I don't comment very often, but have always enjoyed your blog as well as your sense of humor.

You are always going to get haters, no matter what your intention is or was. It is the way of the world. People think it is ok to sit behind a keyboard and say mean and nasty things with no repercussions.

I for one hope you do not let this person ruin what you have started. Although you may have not have started out to be a blogger, you are, and I enjoy reading your blog, even though we have never met and probably never will, I have have learned many things from you and have enjoyed watching your family grow. I feel you are a internet friend! Haters will always hate, but I think your "internet friends here will agree you have always done more good than harm"!

Megan March 12, 2012 at 12:32 PM  

I agree with the previous commenters. I mean I'd say that calling into question your parental choices while at the same time we're talking about SNOOKI has it's own laughable irony but then I'd probably get that Anon. poster after me for making a Snooki joke.

Honestly though? Snooki makes BANK for the character she portrays. MTV isn't real life, people. I am sure she's laughing to your joke too.......all the way to the bank.

Jamie March 12, 2012 at 12:32 PM  

Maybe it was Snooki herself! Who else woulg get so defensive over that picture? Haha

elizabethashleyphoto March 12, 2012 at 12:38 PM  

I don't know you at all, and I have nothing but a photoblog for you to know me by if you ever wanted to, but I have been reading your blog ever since your wedding planning Yours was the very first blog I ever read, and now I have a google reader full of literally hundreds... {shame}

BUT I made a comment the other day, and I can't even remember what it was, but I had the feeling like I was creepy for randomly commenting. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say by citing that except that I would completely understand if you made it private. I would love to keep reading because I find you very entertaining...yours is one of the only blogs I actually READ instead of just looking at the pics and moving on.

Amy Kay March 12, 2012 at 12:40 PM  

I would want to change it to private because I wouldn't want people who like snooki and think she is actaully a decent person to read my blog....ick. If you change it to private I am requesting to be a reader because I love your blog! I have been following you ever since I saw your beaufitul wedding invitations. My wedding invitations looked like they do (pocketfold) because of you! I was there with you all the steps of the way of planning your wedding and I am here to stay. I have recieved hurtful comments before and it is really hard. Maybe they were joking? Snooki. Really? Shes right up there with Kim Kardashian on the wastospace meter. P.s can't wait to see your kitchen. No pressure :)

Phase Three of Life March 12, 2012 at 12:40 PM  

Sheesh, some people take life a little too seriously. I'm sorry someone was so nasty to you. I understand your conflicted feelings on this, but I feel that with facebook and the internet in general, our lives are already more open to the public than they ever have been in the past. It's really difficult to avoid now, and I think you are tasteful and thoughtful with what you choose to share and not to share. I have the same internal debate every now and then. For what it's worth, I hope you stick around.

Jennifer @ Also Known As...the Wife March 12, 2012 at 12:45 PM  

Nasty anonymous comments are the worst. At least if you "knew" who it was it would soften the blow.

I say "forget them" and keep the posts coming. Actually I beg you...because if I don't see how the kitchen turns out I'll cry.

Bailey H March 12, 2012 at 12:51 PM  

I always stand behind my comments, whether they are in agreement or disagreement. I would never hide behind the "anonymous" title! How dare they criticize you and not have the nerve to stand up for it! I love your blog and have been following for quite some time. I found you at Road to the Aisle as a bride-to-be myself. I was truly inspired by your craftiness and your writing :) Then, of course there was no way I could stop reading when little miss Nora came along! I love when "Heather Drive" shows up in my reader! As much as I want you to stick around, I and (I'm sure) all your other readers would totally understand if you didn't. That decision is yours to make and you have a lot of factors to consider. But I can definitively say that my impression is that you and Michael are amazing parents and Nora is a very lucky little girl.

Nicole March 12, 2012 at 12:51 PM  

Hi Heather -
I'm sorry that you were so impacted by "Anonymous"'s comment.

When I saw your Snooki post, I also thought it was funny and did *not* interpret it as you wishing ill upon Snooki or her child.

And, like Megan, I would assume Snooki is/does/and has been cashing in on any and all attention for some time now. In fact, I think she has made similar comments in interviews.

Thank you for sharing your photos, recipes and experiences on this blog! I have baked many of your recipes, appreciated your parenting tips (planes may make babies poop - bring extra clothes for baby and parent) and enjoyed watching the progress of your kitchen demo/reno project. Your blog truly is one of my favorites and while I would be sad to see it go, you need to do what you feel is best for your family!

Bailey H March 12, 2012 at 12:52 PM  

PS - I also loved that Snooki posted - enough to share it on my FB!

LC March 12, 2012 at 12:56 PM  

I have read your blog since you were planning your wedding, and I just have to say...I have very much enjoyed everything you post! From the vacations, to recipes, to your journey through your pregnancy and even sports/political posts. I guess I'll get to my main point and say...

Haters gonna hate.

Keep doing what you're doing and keep being you. That's why I (and I'm sure the vast majority) read your blog.

kylee,  March 12, 2012 at 1:01 PM  

Meh, the comment was obviously posted by some extremely sensitive mommy-blogger that reads far too deeply into anything to ever enjoy life. Anyway, the reason your blog is so much better than others is because it IS for you. You didn't set out to gain a following, you don't SEO the crap out of your posts, and you haven't built and setup this community for the purpose of raking up cash on adwords and (paid) giveaways/reviews. You're a good writer with an interesting life and perspective. Haters gonna hate.

FWIW I think I turned off anonymous comments altogether on my blog when I was still on blogspot. Too bad you can't just use Disqus or something that requires all commenters to log in via Facebook. Cuts down on the tools, they don't want their shitty comments linked to their faces :D

Tara Boller March 12, 2012 at 1:02 PM  

To quote a line from Legally Blonde...towards the end where her female professor turns around in the beauty chair and says to Elle, "If you are going to let one stupid prick ruin your life, your not the girl I thought you were."

Basically my thought with that quote is - there will always be one person with an opinion that will cause you yo question everything, but don't let one person change who you are. I hope you will continue to make your blog public for all of us, but respect your decision in the end.

Tayia March 12, 2012 at 1:09 PM  

I can't even remember the last time I commented on your blog but I get excited every time I see you have a new post up.

You are an amazing Mommy and Nora (and future babes) are incredibly lucky to have parents like you and your husband. I've never once thought that something you posted was an over-share of your life.

"Anonymous" is a jerk. I'm sorry they got to you. As the saying goes, "Haters gonna hate".

Eric's Mommy March 12, 2012 at 1:11 PM  

There will always be stupid people out there who just like to harrass people. I thought the Snooki joke was hilarious, I also saw it via Facebook.

I love your blog and would hate to see you go, but it is your choice, you have your family to think about.

Kelsey March 12, 2012 at 1:17 PM  

I'm sorry to hear this anonymous person was so hurtful in their response to an obviously lighthearted post. Personally, I thought it was hilarious when I first saw it on Pinterest and don't think my finding humor in it in any way defines me or my parenting.

Like many of the previous posters have said, Snooki put herself in this position and profits greatly from the image she portrays in her public life. The picture was a joke, nothing more.

I hope you don't change your blog to private, but would certainly understand if you did. At least you now know how many of us love your writing and hearing about all the wonderful things you, Michael, Nora, and Tessa are doing.

Becky March 12, 2012 at 1:23 PM  

I am sorry someone came out swinging. I laughed (and maybe snorted a little) when I read that post. It was funny. It was meant to be funny.

I hardly ever comments on people's blogs and have really taken a step back in my own blogging just because I don't really feel like putting too much out there on the Internet.

I love your blog because you are so detailed in how to do things and it becomes a great resource (I even reread about your Grand Canyon trip because we are planning on going later this year).

If you decide to make this private, I am sure so many people would understand. I hope you don't because I do like your stories about your family and different projects that you do.


LisaJ March 12, 2012 at 1:29 PM  

I have been reading your blog since you began wedding planning. I came in a few months late, but I followed closely as you had some great ideas and I was getting married a few months after you. Then you moved over to Heather Drive and I followed because I loved your writing. I have continued to read because we ended up being pregnant at the same exact time with my due date being only a couple weeks after yours. Our children our about a week apart and it's nice to know what is going on with Nora. I like to compare (but not in a competitive way) the different things they are doing. My son was a late walker so it was nice to see that Nora was in the same boat. My son goes through picky eating phases and I loved all of the different suggestions for foods to try that came up on your blog post about Nora's eating habits. I also admire the pictures you take and your DIY projects.

You've introduced me to some wonderful blogs with some very heartbreaking stories...mainly Matt Logelin's and the story of Allie.

I know I don't comment often, but I look forward to reading your blog posts. If you do decide to go private, I hope that you open the door to some "strangers" who have been longtime readers.

Megan - Life of the Tailgate March 12, 2012 at 1:35 PM  

Heather, I really hope this doesn't drive you quit blogging. I have been following your blog(s) since the wedding days, and like others have said, it's one of my absolute favorites.

Whoever left that comment needs to seriously get a life and worry about more important things. Maybe even turn on the TV and see that probably 95% of the world would have agreed with your post.

One last thing.... I thought it was funny!


Heather March 12, 2012 at 1:36 PM  

Wow, thanks, guys.

I know it's such a waste to get upset over it, and it is COMPLETELY ridiculous that the comment in question was in response to something about Snooki. Seriously, I'm ashamed of myself. :) But it was just one of those buttons that someone felt the need to press and it's been difficult to let it roll off my back for some reason.

I know that all of the things you guys are saying are true. There will definitely always be haters. I see other bloggers dealing with WAY harsher things being said to them on a regular basis, too.

If there were threaded comments, I would make sure to respond to each of you individually, but DAMN YOU BLOGGER still cannot figure out how to do that, apparently, so this will have to do. Just know that I appreciate every comment.

@ElizabethAshleyPhoto--I have been "creeped out" by a comment pretty much never. And I have no idea what you're even talking about, so I can assure you that it wasn't you. :) And, you comment often enough that I actually do recognize your name, so, there's that. No worries!

@PhaseThreeofLive--What you said is what my philosophy has always been. In the age of the internet, what is "privacy" these days? I mean, really? I appreciate that someone else shares those feelings, yet still has the same internal debate.

@Kylee--Definitely could do Disqus, and have considered it. But I wouldn't want to require people to sign in through Facebook. I do understand people not wanting to have things attached to their full names/real life identities--even when they aren't saying anything nasty! :) "Anonymous" has been used appropriately so many times on the blog, I feel bad removing the option for those who do use it because it is easiest. Just makes it hard when people want to use it to be douche bags. Thanks for your support!

Heather March 12, 2012 at 1:41 PM  


Like many others, I have been reading your blog since you were a bride-to-be, as I was a bride-to-be myself at the time. Your blog was the first blog I ever read, and now, I too have a reader full of blogs, many of which I came to know through your blog. While we will likely never meet and I only comment on occasion, I consider you an Internet friend. I remember being so excited for you on your wedding day, when you posted the picture of you waiting to go down the aisle, then on Heather Drive when Nora was born. I also look to you for for recipes and travel tips! I visited many of the places you recommended when I went to Texas last year! :-)

I'm sorry that someone was so mean! Just know that there are so many of us who love reading about your adventures, and no matter what you decide, we will support you!

ejr286 March 12, 2012 at 1:47 PM  

Hi, Heather. I think this may be my first ever post, but I was moved by your post today. I am a fan of your blog and I would love to see you continue it in exactly the same way. But I do understand if you make the choice to change it, as you have to do what feels right/best for you and your family.

Unfortunately, people can be very silly and ridiculous when it comes to posting hurtful things on the internet. But, imo, people who spew their ridiculousness by commenting anonymously deserve ZERO credit. They set out to terrorize, in a way, and don't deserve the satisfaction of a response. I've watched this on so many blogs and think it is just terrible! Your blog is great...your comment on Snooki was your opinion....and this is your blog so you have every right to express it. And truly, comparing you to Snooki in any way is laughable!

I hope you keep the blog as is, but I certainly understand either way.

Melanie,  March 12, 2012 at 1:52 PM  

This might get mushy and I really hope I don't creep you out... I've read your blog since shortly after you started it. And you don't know me from a hole in the wall, but I've known you for 5 years. I looked forward to pictures from your wedding. I adapted a couple of your ideas for my own wedding a couple of months after yours. I LOVED reading about your pregnancy because mine came shortly thereafter. I love reading posts about what Nora is doing because I can't wait to see if/when my daughter does the same thing. Some of your recipes are now staples in my friends/family circle (pumpkin spice cookies).

My rambl-ey point is after all these years, when I read your posts I feel like I'm checking in on a friend. In the end though, you'll have to make the decision that's best for you and your family.

PS: Whoever posted that comment sucks as a human being. That joke was hilarious.

Lesley March 12, 2012 at 2:06 PM  

I have to say Heather, that joke WAS funny and IN MY OPINION (I thought we're allowed opinions, no?) Snooki should NOT recreate. So, anonymous - shoot me for having an opinion! Heather - you are such a good mommy to Nora and since I know you IRL, I can surely attest to that. There are so many stupid people out there, Anonymous and Snooki included. If I could keep up with my blog (I really should try to get that going again) I'd be posting pics of MY kid too and my experiences of parenthood. I hope to stay a follower whether you go private or not. I reference your blog often when it comes to "is this NORMAL?" in terms of my pregnancy and "hmmm what's on the menu for this week?" and I peruse your recipe index :)

TaraS,  March 12, 2012 at 2:08 PM  

I have to agree with a lot of the other comments. I have never commented on here, but have been reading since your bridal days. Thanks to you, I had a lot of DIY stuff at my wedding which was around the same time as yours. Now that I also have a child (8 month old little boy), I really enjoy reading how you parent Nora. I'm sure it is strange to have so many people in your personal life - but know that there are a lot of normal folks out there who enjoy reading it, and have gained a lot over the years from what you've had to say.

Amy March 12, 2012 at 2:15 PM  

Even though all this has already been said by others, I'm sorry to hear that this person upset you and had to bring negativity onto your blog. Honestly, I laughed outloud (at work...oops!) when I saw the Snooki post. I have loved reading your blog over the years and have found that even though we don't know each other IRL, a lot of your experiences have been similar to mine and have helped me. Plus, I always know that when you post a recipe here it's going to be a good one!

People can be so negative and just plain mean and I totally understand that when it involves your family it more than crosses the line. Completely uncalled for.

Lyn March 12, 2012 at 2:24 PM  

I'm sorry that someone hurt you with their comments. I thought it was obvious that your post was a joke, but there are always going to be people who take things FAR too seriously. I greatly enjoy your blog and hope that you keep it up, but I do understand that you need to what you feel is best for you and your family. Good luck! And don't let the idiots get you down! :)

MamatoJackson March 12, 2012 at 2:49 PM  

I've commented a few times, but not often at all, and I also have to say your blog is my favorite. Maybe because I "found" you when I was also engaged and planning my wedding, and we also "got pregnant" together. I have found real value in reading your blogs, and if nothing else, know that when I read your entries, I'm going to find something valuable...whether it's a recipe, DIY tips, parenting tips, or simply a cute way to photograph my little one. I hope that if you do decide to go "private" you allow some of us who have been with you for "years" to continue to be friends :)

amy March 12, 2012 at 2:50 PM  

I have been reading your blog since you were writing about your wedding as I was also planning a wedding around the same time. I have continued reading as I love to read about your recipes and craft projects and your experience with cloth diapering. Some people just like to start drama. Ultimately you will know what is best for you to do. I thought the Snooki joke was hilarious and as someone else posted, she is making LOTs of money from the character she portrays. I don't think her TV show and how ridiciulous she acts is anything like posting about your family & pictures of your little one.

Rachelle Finck March 12, 2012 at 3:22 PM  

I started reading your Blof as a bride to be looking for amazing wedding incites. I stayed for your witty sense of humor and very real writing style. You've helped me through so many aspect s of my own life that I get excited to see you in my reader, just LIke all of the other followers. Your post on the trials old getting pregnant was the last time I posted because it was so close to home. When you came too Austin I saw you sat third base but felt saying hi would be too creepy...
In the end, I hope you keep allowing us to share in your witty posts, but I totally get it kids you choose otherwise. You've got to so what's best for that special little family of yours!!!

Willowpig March 12, 2012 at 3:25 PM  

Like so many others on here, I too found your blog when planning my wedding. I was married a year after you were. I then found I was pregnant a few months after you announced your pregnancy so that helped me along too. It was so interesting to read first hand what you were going through.

I know you don't know me at all, I'm not a frequent commenter, but I've enjoyed following your blog all the way from over in England!

I'm afraid I don't know who Snooki is either!! But I do know there are a lot of weirdo's on the internet who want to hurt others and although they're in the minority their one comment can cloud all the positive comments you usually get. That's the way negativity goes.

It would be understandable if you wanted to go private but I'd personally hope that you didn't. My blog is open for folk to see. Whether it would be if I got such comments I don't know.

Anyway, wishing you all the best :) x

basebell6 March 12, 2012 at 3:26 PM  

pllllllease keep your blog!! i can't tell you how many anonymous
messages i've gotten over A PUMPKIN [almost as ridiculous as Snooki lol], attacking my character, etc. bullies who hide behind a computer screen are nothing more than cowards and losers. don't let them win; that is what they want.

Claudia,  March 12, 2012 at 4:21 PM  

Joking about people in the public spotlight is a thin line - they're famous for a reason: they have fans (whoever that may be in Snookis case, LOL). But it's something everyone in the public has to deal with, and in the case of "Reality stars", most of them even ask for. Someone not realizing this and in return judging you about reposting something that's been literally all over the internet... wow. That's really all I can say to that.

I sure hope this is just a one time freak thing and you'll allow me and many others to keep enjoying your blogging!! :)

With love from Switzerland,

Cara,  March 12, 2012 at 5:33 PM  

I've been reading your blog since 2008 when I was planning a wedding as well. I do not comment often, but I wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your blog. We have a lot in common. I have two dachshunds, like to cook and be crafty, and hope to be a mom soon. We are also remodeling an older home. It's nice to read your posts and get ideas for recipes, crafts, etc. And, Nora is adorable. I understand if you need to make your blog private, but I hope you continue!

Amanda March 12, 2012 at 5:45 PM  

Oh Heather. I can relate to this post so well. I've been following you (creepster alert haha) since I stumbled upon Road to the Aisle when I was planning my wedding in '09. You are one of my favorite bloggers and I've looked up to you and even linked back to you many a time in my own blog. I posted a photo of my husband and daughter back in December. It was as adorable and innocent as ever but some anonymous a-hole took it to a perverse place and I haven't bounced back. I just can't let people talk that way about my child.
I've been debating shutting down my blog or making it private since then. I have yet to want to put anything else out there since.
I am sorry! I know that I don't want to go w/o your recipes, travel recaps and Nora & Tessa updates, but I can say that I'll support you no matter what you do!

Kari March 12, 2012 at 5:50 PM  

Don't let people who hide behind anonymity get you down. It seems to me like that person was just out to start drama. Sure, every one is entitled to their own opinions, but to make sure a harsh comment and not even have the guts to at least give a NAME to yourself is cowardly, in my opinion.

And for the record-our hatred of Tom Brady is one of the many thing we have in common. :)

Maggie March 12, 2012 at 6:36 PM  

i'm going to agree with all of the above! the Snooki joke was hilarious, and "anonymous" takes life way too seriously! like others have said, yours was one of the first blogs i ever started following! i'd be very sad to see you go! :)

Bethany March 12, 2012 at 6:51 PM  

Oh hell, if someone is really that offended by you making fun of Snooki then they need to click the red X in the corner and never return. The internet gives people the ability to hide when they want to say mean and hurtful things. A fellow blogger once told me that if someone really has something important to say, they wont hide behind an annonoymous comment. I love your blog, and I love hearing about Nora and all of the adventures you three (well, four!) have. I would be very sad to see you go.

Sophie Lee,  March 12, 2012 at 7:14 PM  

Oh Heather Huni!

I love both you AND Snooki, both so entertaining! And both much more famousz than lil ol' me! WE SHOULD ALL JUST STOP THIS HATIN ON PPL! Let's remember Sept 11 and hope for peace. Let's put aside our comments on Snooki and our comments on Anonymous and start living our lives!


Sophie Lee

Mindi March 12, 2012 at 7:14 PM  

I'm sorry to hear about the nasty comment. people can be so rude. I've been a follower since the wedding blog (and got TONS of ideas from you so this is also my big THANK YOU) I think your blog is very real and I love it. I am a fellow fredonian AND I live in the ROC area so I enjoy reading what your up to (even if you do post about breaking my beloved Brady's legs :) jk I still follow and respect that EVERYONE has their own opinion. I've enjoyed watching your daughter grow up and while I respect your decision, I hope you stick around (or if you go private, you let me stay :) good luck with everything :)

Mindi March 12, 2012 at 7:16 PM  

btw I totally shared the snookie joke at work when you posted it and EVERYONE loved it :)

tab890 March 12, 2012 at 7:23 PM  

I'm sorry someone said something that may make you reconsider your blog. I do enjoy it, it gives me great ideas for decorating and party ideas and I would miss not seeing your posts!

Lyndsey March 12, 2012 at 7:27 PM  

Please don't make your blog private. I have been religiously reading your blog ever since I found (and made) your card box for our wedding--thank you, by the way! I read many blogs and yours is by far my favorite!

Soon2bMommy March 12, 2012 at 7:28 PM  

like most of the other women on here, i'm not much of a commenter, but your blogs inspire me. I'm a soon to be mother, and when i was looking for a baby book my husband picked out on the internet, it led me to your blog. And I read every single entry you made since the day I got on here. Your post make me remember to stop and breathe, that there will always be somthing to stress about, but I should enjoy the tough times with the people that I share them with. (such as my husband, who I sometimes take for granted)

Catherine March 12, 2012 at 7:36 PM  

I too have been following you since your wedding planning days. Actually, your blog was the first I ever read and is actually what got me "hooked" on reading blogs. I have about 30 different blogs in my Google Reader that I subscribe to, and out of all of them, yours is the one I will get excited about when I see a new post. I was married at the same time as you, and my son was born a few short months after Nora. It's great being about to relate to what is going on in your life and I LOVE that you are crazy about researching products as I am. You seriously helped me tremendously when making decisions about baby products, and all sorts of other things. Please do not make this anonomymous.

Heather March 12, 2012 at 7:44 PM  

Wow, everyone. Just wow. I am in awe of the support.

And, I recognize so many old names that I haven't seen in so long! Mindi and Terri (tab), I remember both of you from the TK WNY board days.

And so many others that used to comment more frequently--I'm glad you're still around!

Every one of the comments that have come in today are so, so appreciated.

Mary,  March 12, 2012 at 8:05 PM  

Heather, like all the others that have posted here I really enjoy your blog too, and am really sorry that there are people out there that are so nasty!

I also got pregnant just before you had Nora, and really enjoyed reading your posts about pregnancy and having a newborn--to see what I was in for!! It's hard to put myself in your shoes, since blogging is not something that I could ever do, but we all can understand doing what is best for our families. Thank you for what you have already given us by being a faithful blogger!

Elizabeth,  March 12, 2012 at 8:53 PM  

Hi Heather

This is my first time commenting. I stumbled across Road to the Aisle in late 2010 while trying to DIY my wedding invites. And you helped me so much that I naturally followed you over to Heather Drive.

I haven't commented before as I felt that it would be weird for you, but I just wanted to throw some support your way! I find your attitude to life, your organisation and your commitment to your family inspiring and heart warming.

I'm a few years behind you in terms of marriage, kids and home ownership/renovations. But I'm starting to go through it all now, and it is nice to read your experiences (and tips)!

I'm Australian and have never seen an episode of Jersey Shore (nor do I feel inspired to) but rest assured, I too know who Snooki is, and like the majority of readers took your post in the manner in which it was intended - hilarity!

I hope you continue to blog publicly, but understand if you ultimately decide to go private.

All the best to yourself, Michael and the beautiful Nora!

Jess March 12, 2012 at 9:03 PM  

I think this is my first time commenting. I know everybody has already said what I was thinking when reading this post but I just wanted to reiterate it. I love your recipes and your links to other blogs. I also love that you are just real and not doing the blog thing to make money or what not. I've been following you since your wedding blog though I got married a year later and I did use some of your tutorials. Honestly I feel like you do a good job with the balance of privacy and protecting Nora. I'm sorry the comment got to you and I hope you will keep the blog open, but I understand if you don't.

Andrea March 12, 2012 at 9:29 PM  

I'm sorry a comment was left that shook you up.

I often go through the same internal battle regarding making my blog private and I have no where near the readership you do. In the end I always keep it public because I know it is the only way many of our friends and family keep tabs on us - even if they don't leave comments.

I do use the 'feature' that comments need to be approved before showing up. Anonymous posters can still comment but I can decide whether or not the comments are appropriate.

I do love reading your blog...your recipes, hearing about your travel, and of course all posts about Nora since I had a baby girl three months after she was born. Of course you need to do whatever is right for your family, though.

For what it's worth, my husband and I BOTH LOLed at your Snooki post.

Wendy G,  March 12, 2012 at 9:35 PM  

I hope it's not getting old to hear another person say I truly love your blog ;) Yours really is the only blog that I read for the content, writing and the photography. You're the blogging total package!

I can totally understand why the comment you described would hurt. I would have a hard time brushing it off too. I can only hope that this person doesn't keep you from sharing this blog, which you do so well!

Side note: I have been TTC and had a pity party for myself when I found out Snooki was pregnant. The picture you posted had me laughing so hard I printed it as a pick me up.

Amy March 12, 2012 at 10:14 PM  

Late to the party, but just wanted to chime in to say that I heart your blog too and have been reading forever (but am a lazy commenter since I follow in my reader). Is there a way to track the IP address? Not worth your time regardless, but I know how you feel. I started blogging as a means of journaling awhile back, and felt the need to set up a private blog when my son was born because putting it all out there takes some courage at times and I was undecided about how much/ little I wanted to share. I would understand if you had to make it private, but would go into mourning for awhile if I couldn't see which cake you made next and what sweet little Nora is up to. ;)

Mom March 12, 2012 at 10:17 PM  

This can be a cruel world, and no matter what, one can never prepare their children to face the nasty people. Nasty people on the internet don't even have the nerve to post their name...why not?? Because they might find out that everyone thinks that he or she is an idiot. Thankful for free speech, but sure wish cowards out there wouldn't have to hide behind an "anonymous" shield....grow up!!
I don't give a flying deletive as to who "Snooki" is, I have heard something about some nimble-minded show that is a big huge waste of time. One could fill in the blank in that cartoon with any number of people who got their 15 minutes of fame on some stupid show that makes the networks filthy rich. If this "anonymous" person was so concerned about the content of your blog, why would he or she waste their time? There are more important things to do in life, such as tuning into a mindless reality TV show. Come on you are a JOKE!
I love you honey, and I look forward to reading your posts and seeing pictures of our beautiful baby girl. Mom.

Kate,  March 12, 2012 at 10:34 PM  

I started reading your blog back when I was wedding planning looking for some great DIY ideas. Your blog was so helpful both for our wedding planning and our Hawaii honeymoon planning. I continued reading once you switched to heatherdrive and have loved all of your recipe, travel, and Nora posts (among others!) I also found it so helpful to read your weekly pregnancy posts during my own pregnancy - I loved reading your take on everything from maternity clothes to choosing diapers.

It is so unfortunate that there are a few ignorant rude people who try to ruin things for everyone else! I completely understand your desire to protect yourself and your family - but I would be so sad to not be able to enjoy your posts each week! Especially for someone defending Snooki - I mean, come on!! Who wouldn't see the humor in that post?? geez.

Thanks for some great reading over the last few years, I hope to see more, but completely understand whatever decision you make.

Maureen,  March 12, 2012 at 10:38 PM  

Do what you feel is best for you and your family. I love reading your blog and looking at pictures of Nora, recipes....

Unfortunately the internet is filled with haters who have no guts and therefore love to hide behind screen name and call out others. Please don't let them control how you lead your life.

Krystie March 12, 2012 at 11:34 PM  

UGH this makes me heated! I have read your blog since your road to the aisle days and then followed you over to heather drive. I think what you share is a perfect balance of giving your readers a glimpse into your real life but also keeping your privacy. I get lots of ideas on cooking, traveling and now that I'm on this mommy journey, I'd be lying if I said I haven't gone back through and read your pregnancy posts to compare. If you're doing this for you, keep doing it! Don't worry about the anonymous posters who can't show their truce face when judging something you posted. If all you can get out, is 1 post a week? who cares. I'll read your one post a week :) Nora will love to look back on all of this in 10 years!

For the record, I thought the snookie post was hilarious! ;)

kristinainaustin March 13, 2012 at 12:00 AM  

"Haters gonna hate." "Don't feed the trolls." One of those has to be appropriate for this situation, right? :)

sarah bryant March 13, 2012 at 12:02 AM  

I really hope you dont change anything. I am the mother of a soon to be 15 month old baby girl and I subscribed to your blog because I came across a post about Nora and was hooked. I love learning about baby girlhood by reading your blog. I feel like I am not alone in some of the hard stuff because of your posts. Posts like the one with the pictures of Nora and her daddy having tea cheer me up on a rough day. And inspire me and encourage me of what I have to look forward to. I have really enjoyed them and read each and every one. There are always gonna be rude people out there to rain on your parade but you are helping people. You are helping me.

Clint & Alicia McLaws March 13, 2012 at 1:19 AM  

I'm sorry some random person was so mean & insensitive. I, for one, found the Snooki joke hilarious. Ive seen it many times, and it makes me giggle every single time. Its pathetic that someone took such offense to it and lashed out at you. I can't help but wonder if they verbally attacked every single person who posted & laughed at that picture. They must be a very busy individual!! And what a coward to post it under an anonymous moniker.

I love reading your blog. I mostly just lurk. I found your blog years ago via some suggestion on a wedding website. I've enjoyed your recipies, photography, etc. Watching your family grow. You'll be supported in whatever you decide to do. As a regular reader, I would hope it wouldn't be private. However, I certainly understand the reasons for considering it.

mariehahn13 March 13, 2012 at 1:26 AM  


I have been reading your blog for years. I have recommended your blog to other people who are looking for ideas, and I admire and respect everything that you do as a person, mother, etc. I would hate to see one immature person ruin what you share with the world.

I look forward to your blogs, especially since they're some of the only ones that I take the time to read :)

I know that no matter what you choose to do, your loyal readers will be there to support you. :)

Amy March 13, 2012 at 8:23 AM  

I also started following your blog when you were a bride to be. Even though I have never commented. I am sorry you have to make this decision, you truly need to follow your heart. This is about you and your family! The internet has 'haters', we can't fix those people. I love your blog and I hope you keep it going, but like I said follow your heart.

When do we get to see the finalized kitchen??

Anonymous,  March 13, 2012 at 9:09 AM  

Dear Heather,
That is so sad. I am a senior citizen who found your blog almost two years ago. I have health issues with my spine and spend time reading blogs that make me smile. They bring back memories of dear husband and kids at the stage you and your family are in now. Not sure who Snoki is. I took it as a joke and am sad that the mean person wrote to you. I am posting as anonymous only because I do not have a blog myself.
Hoping the haters will not stop your wonderful,funny and sweet blog! Melanie

Kerri March 13, 2012 at 9:53 AM  

I too found your blog while wedding planning but have stuck around specifically because of your frank writing style. I hope that you choose to keep sharing but as others said would understand and support any decision you make.

I hope the anonymous poster reads all of these comments and feels just as bad as they made you feel.

Lucianna March 13, 2012 at 10:31 AM  

I read your blog regularly - I admit I check it daily and I feel disappointed when there isn't a new post to read! :)
I have a 17-month-old and I feel like our kids are often going through the same things at the same time (or, you at your stage of life is going through the same things I am going through).
You are one of the only regular, sane people out there writing blogs like this. Seriously. I read other blogs, but they are often ridiculous and over the top and not at all like my life, so I don't even know why I read them any more! But your blog has always been a calm, honest take on parenting and "grown up" life and I, for one, would be sad to lose that. do write this blog for you and your family, so you obviously have to do what is right for you. Just know that there are normal people out here who appreciate your writing!

Kristen's Wedding Countdown March 13, 2012 at 10:43 AM  

I found your wedding planning blog while planning my own wedding then followed you over to "Heather Drive".

I appreciate your intelligence, humor, sarcasm, and most of all your love for your family. I'm so sorry to hear that you're considering making your blog private, although I do understand.

It's so sad when people use the internet as a shield to hide behind and then cast rude and intentionally hurtful things. Why is it that some people's manners, grace, and tact fly out the window the minute they encounter a keyboard?!?!

Hope you keep going, but if not...I wish the best of luck to you and your beautiful family!

Prospector80 March 13, 2012 at 12:50 PM  

Heather, I have been reading your blog for a couple of years now and I just wanted to say how much I have enjoyed reading it. I am a new mom, too (DD born April 2011). We don't know each other, but I feel like I have gotten so much advice from you. From you I learned that I could get a "fake" wedding ring for when my fingers swelled up too much to wear my real one in the last weeks of pregnancy. I learned about Pediadose for giving medications. I learned that Christmas-themed pajamas for babies have to be bought or ordered a ridiculous amount of time in advance. "Heather says" or "Nora likes/dislikes" make regular appearances in conversations at our house. I will understand if you decide that you need to cancel the blog because I know your family comes first. But I just wanted to give you my perspective on how much I value your blog and say what I probably should have said before: thank you! Hannah (Washington, DC)

Kelly March 13, 2012 at 4:41 PM  

"Don't let the bastards get to you." (What John Wayne sent to Barbara Walters when she was the 1st woman anchor and getting shit for it)

BLW,  March 13, 2012 at 5:27 PM  

Hi Heather!
Add me to the list of readers who found your blog when planning their weddings! I came for instructions on making a card box, and stayed because I really enjoyed your posts. I can only echo all the nice things like 70 other people have already said about your blog. I obviously don't "know" you, but from everything I've read, I can tell you are a wonderful person. I would understand if you chose to make your blog private, but I would really miss it. I'm anonymous because I don't have a blog myself. :)

Kristi March 13, 2012 at 6:31 PM  

Love reading your blog and I would be so sad if you went away (or went private)! I started reading when you were pregnant with Nora. . .don't remember how I even found you, but I am glad I did. I just enjoy your writing style and the diversity in your posts. . .a little of this, a little of that. I thank you for writing and sharing it with us- your loyal, respectful readers :) I guess I will never understand one's need to leave nasty, hurtful comments. If I see something I don't like or agree with I think before I speak- "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!".
Your blog rocks :)

Tara Walencik March 13, 2012 at 10:20 PM  


I too have been following you since your bride days. I am absolutely flabbergasted by the terrible things that were said. However it is my hope that the pure negativity of people does not deter you.

I have learned a lot from you and though we have never met your family seems just as part of my own..."Dominic, look at how Nora's playroom turned out!" LOL

Whatever you decided we respect, do what is best for your family...what YOU are comfortable with. You & Michael have built a wonderful home and are raising a beautiful, smart daughter. That is as clear as black & white if nothing else.

Keep on keepin on, girlfriend! Whatever it may be :)

Whitney,  March 13, 2012 at 10:45 PM  

Not sure I've commented before, but I found your wedding blog last year while planning my own wedding and followed you over here. I like your down-to-earth writing style and nice mix of posts on family/kids/work/design/recipes/crafts/travel/etc. Very versatile. I feel like I learn from your posts. Thank you for writing.

Nora is adorable, and I wish your family much happiness. Don't let "anonymous" get you down. There's always one bad apple in the bunch. Just consider the ratio of positive to negative must be something like 99.9999%, so I'd say you're doing pretty well. I hope you feel better soon.

Elisha March 13, 2012 at 11:08 PM  

Heather! Don't fret! Your blog rocks, and you truly are an inspiration to me! (Which is how I found your blog in the first place when planning my own wedding in 2010!) When I think of how overwhelming life is at the moment between being a newlywed, owning a house, juggling a full time job, and grad school part-time (no kids yet), I read your blog and think "if she has it together with everything I have on my plate + raising a child + home renovations", I can do this. :)

Please don't let one bad apple bring you down. I guess that this is almost like adult cyber bullying, and you know what? The only motive for bullying is that people do it b/c they want attention (and are usually jealous of what you have.) There will always be negative people in this world, and you can't let them eat you up (especially since that is what they are trying to do, so don't let them get what they want!)

Thanks again for being an inspiration to all of us!

Mala,  March 14, 2012 at 12:30 AM  

I love your blog, I barely comment because I'm too lazy. But I enjoy it more that YouTube & trust me I love me some YouTube. You inspire me to try different things with my unborn baby. If I email you, you always respond back. What they eat don't make you shit so F him!

Wishing on stars March 14, 2012 at 2:05 AM  

I know you've now read this 70+ times, and even commented on it twice but here's another one;

I love your blog. I first found it on Tk and made my pocket-fold-invitations after yours. (though during that I may have silently been cursing having found your blog :) ) then I was intrigued by you starting up nn interest for photography, something my husband and I wanted to get in to. Once you moved to Heather Drive I followed you on over here. I've loved reading about your traveling, Nora, Tessa and of course your hubby.
And we both share a horrid fear of spiders...did I ever tell you that a few weeks after your encounter in the car I myself had one...? Let's just say its a good thing I was at a red light...and the ppl in the car behind me asked if it was a bee that made fly out of my car.

We have even exchanged a few e-mails and you have always been so helpful. I'm so sorry that some jerk made you feel uncomfortable. You of course need to do what makes you feel most comfortable but I will very much miss reading your blog. And I'd be so annoyed to lose that because of Snooki..... Gah she's horrible as it is!

Anyway. I hope you stick around ��

Vanessa March 14, 2012 at 10:58 AM  

I emailed this to your blog address, but now that comments seem to be working again I wanted to post it publicly. Hope you don't mind.

Firstly, I am sorry that I am late to see the post. It makes me angry that people need to be so nasty, and don't have the guts to put their name to their comments. How weak. I for one don't know who Snooki is (perhaps she hasn't made it to England yet) so I didn't get the joke, but that is an aside. I am assuming she is some kind of reality tv personality?

I wanted to say that I would be really sad if you decided to stop writing your blog/make it private. I have been reading for years and find it inspiring, it is relatable for me and my life, it is smart and witty and it is not self-proclamatory or overly revealing - ever. I am particularly sensitive to over-disclosure, and rarely post things on FB etc, and I am quite critical of many who over-expose their lives or engage in voyeurism into other people’s lives. Your blog does not do that. I think that one of the wonderful things about it is that it is often a conversation between you and your readers, an exchange of ideas, thoughts, books you/they have enjoyed etc.

Like another reader commented, I feel when I read your blog as though I am reading the updates of a friend. That may sound strange – I don’t mean it to, but it is because of the exchange I mentioned and the sort of community that has formed around your blog, with regular posters. Still, I think there are boundaries you don’t cross, and your writing is always correctly distanced, if that makes sense. At the moment I am particularly enjoying reading your baby tips and about your pregnancy (to see how you felt when you were at the stage I am at, week by week), and I love your reflections on being a mom. I find your writing refreshing, honest, and real.

I am saddened and angered by the fact that someone can cast a doubt about an endeavour that is so positive for you personally, as well as for your readers. Of course everyone will support you whatever you decide, but I for one really hope you don't stop writing!

I wish you the very best, and thanks very much for sharing with us up to now. I really do look forward to your posts, and I think that it is wonderful that they serve as a reference point and sort of diary documenting the history of and for your family.

Take care,

Vanessa xxx

Kupcake March 14, 2012 at 9:52 PM  

Hi Heather,
I feel so bad that some people are rude and made your feel this way. I have been reading your blog since 2009 when I was getting married and I have enjoyed reading about your tavels, Nora, and your cooking ideas. Which I have used a couple of them myself. I will understand if you decide that you need to cancel the blog because I know your family comes first. But I just wanted to let you know that this a has been a great blog and I have ejoyed reading it and I will miss it if it does come down to making it private.

Chelsey,  March 14, 2012 at 10:56 PM  

How awful...people sure can be uncivil when they can be anonymous.

I hope you choose not to shut down your blog. I started following you during wedding planning, and we've gone through nearly the same exact things in the past 4 years. I almost feel like you're a friend (virtual, of course) that I laugh with, cry with and am a better mother for. You're real, and I appreciate that.

Whatever you choose, your readers will respect you for it. You have to do what's in your heart. Either way, thank you for all of the blogs you've done thus far, and I wish you nothing but the best.

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