Heartbreaker

My Buffalo Bills. Oh, how they break my heart.

I've been dreading the season opener ever since I found out it was going to be Monday Night Football, against the New England Patriots, at Foxboro. All of these things added up to a trifecta of SUCK for the Buffalo Bills.

I actually missed most of the first quarter because I was at my aerobics class. (That should say a lot right there. Under any other circumstances, I would have totally skipped my aerobics class for football.) But imagine my surprise when I got into my car and, on the way home, listened to the Bills score a touchdown to take the lead over New England, 7-0. The rest of the game went surprisingly well. I was afraid to really BILLieve it, but it looked like they were actually going to pull off a win.

Over the New England Patriots (and Golden Boy Tom Brady).

At Foxboro.

On Monday Night Football.

But alas, it wasn't meant to be. As Bills fans, we do not know the elation of winning a big game, because it just never happens for us.

For whatever reason, when there were less than two minutes left in the game (and ALL they had to do was hold.onto.the.damn.ball), Leodis McKelvin received the kickoff and decided to take it out of the endzone. Then, as he was being tackled, for whatever reason, he tried to fight for another measly half a yard (which didn't even matter!), and in doing so, the ball popped out. Fumble. New England recovers, and three plays later, scores their game-winning touchdown.

I'm not going to lie; I want to give McKelvin a good kick to the face.

But what can you do?

I want to be proud of them for not embarrassing themselves, when everybody thought they were surely going to embarrass themselves. (I was actually predicting a 52-0 loss after the pathetic showing they put on during the preseason.) But I just can't shake off the overwhelming disappointment. As Bills fans, it feels like we've already been beaten to a pulp, and we just keep getting kicked while we're down. It just feels like we will NEVER be good. I'm honestly having a hard time keeping myself "into" it, and you know me... I'd consider myself die-hard.

I've been following them religiously for eight seasons, and they've never given me a reason to keep doing so. In these eight years, I've never seen them make the playoffs. They disappoint more often than they thrill. Watching the games feels like such a waste of time. Why do I want to spend three hours watching if I'm just going to walk away upset? Something's gotta change.

*sigh*

Still, I find myself looking at the positives. New England is one of the best teams, and the Bills were only beaten by 1 point. Our struggling quarterback actually looked decent. Backup running back Fred Jackson looked awesome. So is there still reason to hope? Do I dare let myself do so?

We'll see.

Right now, I'm just concentrating on picking myself up and dusting myself off for Week 2 versus Tampa Bay...