Recurring Dream

I have this recurring dream. I've been having it for years. And to be honest, up until now, I have never given it much thought.

I am always a senior in college, just a short time away from graduation. And at some point in the dream, I always discover that I am not going to graduate because I am going to be a few credits short. And the reason I'm going to be short is because I'm going to fail a class (or sometimes two). Why? Well, because in these dreams, I simply forget that I had ever registered for the course, or I repeatedly forget that I'm supposed to be in class on X day at X time.

In some versions of this dream, once I realize what is happening, I actually make an attempt to go to the classes, write down the dates of tests and big assignments in my planner, and then try to turn the situation around. Ultimately, I always end up forgetting about the classes again, resulting in my failure to turn in the assignments or take the tests.

The types of classes are all over the place in these dreams. Sociology, math, history, whatever. It's always different. Sometimes the professors are teachers I had in high school or professors I actually did have in college. None of them are ever people I would have considered my "favorites" or professors that I think often about. They are always the random ones that I had once, maybe twice.

The anxiety that I feel in these dreams, the fear of failing, the fear of my GPA dropping (not to brag, but I was pretty close to a straight A student), not graduating... it all feels very real. So real, in fact, that I often wake up thinking to myself, "Wow, I need to figure out the deal with that missing class..."

It's only after I really become fully conscious that I realize, Wait. I've been out of college for five years. And then? Then, I feel a tremendous sense of relief. This dream, even though it has fooled me many times, is of course, never real.

But this morning, as I sat and ate my breakfast and thought about it, I realized how weird it is that I keep having this same dream. Different variations of it, but always the same setting, the same situations, the same problems. I cannot think of another dream that I have ever had more than once. It's strange.

And I'm just left wondering... What does it mean? The mind is so fascinating.