Life is beautiful.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Every once in a while in life, something comes along and smacks you in the face. You know, just to give you some perspective.

This happened to me yesterday. A seemingly random couple of clicks landed me on a blog that I have since been unable to get out of my head.

I was on The Knot message boards, killing a little bit of time reading random posts, and then I clicked on the blog link in Michelle's signature. I skimmed back through a couple of posts and found a link to the blog of Matt Logelin. In her post, Michelle had mentioned that the blog made people cry. She had been talking about infertility and tragedy in her post. About the blog, I thought--maybe someone who lost a child?

I clicked on the link to Matt and started reading some of the most recent posts. At first, I thought--there is no way I can read this blog--his writing style is certainly unique (I got used to it). My second thought was that I could not understand what happened. He had pictures up of a beautiful, seemingly healthy baby girl... why is this guy's blog so sad? "Life and Death in 27 hours"--what does this mean? Then I started to notice that there was not a mommy ever pictured with the baby. All the pictures were of Matt and his daughter.

Upon further exploration, I saw a link up on the top right that said, "If you've never been here before." I clicked on it and proceeded to read a fairly short recap (Matt's writing is definitely succinct) of his tremendously horrific story.

Matt's daughter was born prematurely on March 24.

A short 27 hours later, on March 25, his absolutely beautiful wife, Liz, died suddenly of a pulmonary embolism.

Mere minutes before she was supposed to hold their daughter for the first time.

Uhh, yeah. I'll give you a minute to wipe your tears.

I mean, seriously. There is not much that is more sad than a story like that.

I keep asking myself what is so special about this guy, Matt. Why has his story affected me so deeply? He's not the first man to ever lose his wife and have to raise a child (or children) on his own. But I guess it is the manner in which he lost her that makes this story especially sad. It was supposed to be the happiest time of their lives. Instead, it turned into some mess of emotions. The happiest times and the worst of times... all rolled into one.

Shortly after his daughter's birth and his wife's death, a grandmother of another baby in the NICU actually told Matt he should give his baby up for adoption. And in reality, he really could have done that. But he didn't. Every day, he gets up and works through his pain to care for his beautiful baby girl. And although it's what he should be doing as a father, I still can't help but feel admiration for him.

If I didn't just completely ruin your day, you should check out his blog. Is it depressing? Hell yes. But at the same time, it is truly uplifting. An example of how life truly does go on. With the end of a life, came the beginning of a life. It's an odd thing. And reading it--crying and smiling simultaneously--I think it's possible to catch just a glimpse of the emotional rollercoaster he is riding every day.

I've read through two months of his posts (and a few other random ones here and there) since discovering his blog, and it's been humbling to "watch" his grief process. Good days, bad days... they are all there on the blog. His writing is so simple, yet so deep... and you can feel his raw emotions through reading.

I just think it is an amazing, amazing story. And I wanted to share.

8 comments:

Abbie August 14, 2008 at 2:46 PM  

I found his blog recently too. The first time I read it, I ended up going back to the "beginning" of it all and spent hours just sucking it all in. It was heartbreaking. Now, I've found excitement in reading how he has found so many new friends (once strangers) along the way. It made me laugh when he said, "I haven't broken her!" Definitely a must-read blog to put everything in perspective!

Michelle August 14, 2008 at 4:39 PM  

You are the second person that I have introduced to this blog. And the second person that has blogged about finding it. My coworked started reading it and cried her eyes out. It is so moving and you can't help but cheer for Matt and Madeline!

Carisa,  August 14, 2008 at 4:49 PM  

Definitely very moving and it makes us appreciate what we have infront of us Every day. I really lost it when he got into her car and Madeline held his finger.

Control Freak August 14, 2008 at 10:03 PM  

I also read his blog and it is very touching. Certainly makes you appreciate every day on this earth, doesn't it? Life can change in a matter of seconds.

Krystie August 14, 2008 at 11:14 PM  

I started reading his blog 3 days after his wife died. I'm a true follower. He should write a book! it's not very often you find a single dad raising a new born baby, and doing it so well. Definitely a heart wrenching story, but in the end..he has a happy ending.

jenn August 15, 2008 at 4:06 AM  

Hey Heather, I'm Jenn! I found you when I googled "DIY Unity Candle"- ha!

Anyways, the first night I read Matt's blog I cried myself to sleep. Seriously. I could not stop thinking about how unfair it was for him. I don't cry when I read it now, but his writing always touches me. I too get excited at his ever growing support team and I just know that they will make it.

jenn August 15, 2008 at 4:06 AM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
alana,  August 16, 2008 at 7:55 AM  

Thank you for posting that link. I linked to it in my own blog and also sent it to a few friends. I cried myself to sleep as well. Liz seemed like such an amazing person. I started it last night and ended up staying up until 5am reading it (hence my being awake right now). It definitely made me appreciate my boyfriend a lot more and every time I look at him now, I'm just so glad that I am lucky enough to have him here every day.

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